one two three fourrrrnication!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
