I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
