grandma shit on top of the toilet
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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