dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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