Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
