Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
