yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The air was thick with penises
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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