do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
