i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
