Kiss
Puke
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
