We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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