HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
