How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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