talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
