Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I would fuck him just for his dog
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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