There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
