Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
