Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
