My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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