Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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