Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
