If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you inspire me to be a worse person
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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