OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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