You made me cry and you don't even care
I hate all girls vehemently.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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