Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm passing your future prison.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize