SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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