I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He passed out mid-signature
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The adults are the big ones right?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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