I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
