Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
