Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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