So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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