It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
