I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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