Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
