Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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