The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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