is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
