how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
