Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
