I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
