saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
