eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
