I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
