My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish I only lived at night.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
