A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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