508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
