Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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