she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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