I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
