Sponge bath it is.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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