peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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