Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
