you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
