so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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