Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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