I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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