I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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