Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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