so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
