Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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