i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
