Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
In other news, I just burned my penis
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize